Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
