kristin has been a bad kristin
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
