ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
barbara walters just said penis...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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