If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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