i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
