Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
