I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Let's get the cat blown out
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
