No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
