Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize