I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
