ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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