I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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