is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
