It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
