Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
