WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
