They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize