just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
