I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
