it wasn't lemon gatorade
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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