i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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