I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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