after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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