If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
