scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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