I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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