ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
