Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
