Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
