I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
