Pappa wants mamma naked
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
