i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
