Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
