she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
