I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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