i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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