If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
