Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
