I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
