MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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