saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
