oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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