Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
