Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
