Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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