she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
