My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm too high and old for this...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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