Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
