Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
