If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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