Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
