i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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