So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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