It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
