all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
