How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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