You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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